Let the Healing Begin

I didn’t expect to go home on the same day of my surgery. I honestly was expecting to stay in the hospital and be hooked up to the “feel good” drugs just in case the pain became unbearable. I read every article on recovery imaginable, yet I STILL truly didn’t know what to expect. Luckily the pain medication took me to PainFreeTown and I wasn’t thinking all too clear just yet.

My husband was a superstar! He had everything prepped for me. He had the bed ready, house ready, heated blankets, and walkways all clear so I could move around effortlessly. I was coming home to Camp SeeYaLaterOvulator and ready to be out of pain but I didn’t realize I was in for a rude awakening when it comes to pain. 

They don’t generally talk about when you have to go pee and how terrifying or painful that can be. Good Lord!!! I could barely go at all and I was so sure something MUST be wrong! The other things they don’t mention is holding a pillow against your belly while trying to pee. Now I’m not the most coordinated human in the first place, so add pain meds, clumsiness and just me being me, this seemed like a disaster waiting to happen. Of all the prayers I’ve prayed in my life, praying not to drop a pillow in a toilet was not an expected one. I’m pretty sure whoever received that prayer showed it their friends and had a good laugh.

After making it through week one (also known as hell week) with the sleepless nights and sharp pains, I started questioning why I even made this decision. Tossing your uterus and cervix apparently makes you question a few things. Biology tells me I’m supposed to keep these items where they belong but my common sense says, why keep broken parts in place when all they do is give me grief?! It feels almost like a breakup. You begin to miss them so you have to remind yourself that they were no good for you in the first place. I thought about making a uterus shaped dart board and throwing darts at it when I missed it, but I was way too tired for all of that.

I can’t tell you how many times a day I looked online for ANYONE who could talk about what’s normal, what to expect, and some things that were too weird to ask my friends. I compiled a list of hysterectomy topics, random thoughts, and questions MOST are afraid to ask or discuss since I’m not alone in this:

• How many stool softeners am I REALLY supposed to take because this doesn’t seem to be working?
• Surely ONE load of laundry won’t hurt me. 
• How is it possible for my uterus to hurt if it isn’t there? Be gone ghost uterus! Where’s my sage?
• Why is it that if I walk to the kitchen and back, I already need a nap?
• If I strain to go to the bathroom, will everything all fall out?
• It’s been two weeks, sooooooooo I’m healed right?
• How many serial killer documentaries can I binge between naps?
• I wonder what my uterus is doing right now. Does it miss me too?
• Why is my bladder STILL hurting? ugh!
• Please oh please don’t let the cat or dog jump on me because I’m way too tired to defend myself!
• If I don’t go take a car trip, I may go insane!
• Do I really need a makeup or bra today? Nah!
• Why do I feel like crying when I see babies now? Stupid hormones! I blame my one remaining ovary.
• Is it normal to have super weird dreams now and sleep better?

Everyone has a different experience and I only had one scare during my recovery which sent me to the hospital. It was from thinking this surgery would be like the rest of my many female issue related surgeries. NOPE! I’m quite the proud and stubborn woman who thinks that even a surgery can’t keep me down. Wrong again!

What did this experience teach me? It taught me that I can advocate for my health. It taught me that I don’t have to live with endometriosis, adenomyosis, and other issues if I don’t want to. Although a hysterectomy is NOT necessarily a cure for endometriosis, I know that I am living with far less pain now than I had before. Well, at least less pain in my reproductive areas. 

It taught me to rest and take better care of myself when I’m healing. It taught me that I am a whole lot tougher than I give myself credit for. Most importantly, it taught me to make the best decisions for my body so I can live my best life. As I said before, I have a little less of me so I can have the best of me!